The decision to file for divorce is never easy. The timing can play a significant role in the emotional and practical outcomes of this life-changing choice. As the holiday season approaches, you might find yourself weighing the benefits of waiting versus moving forward now. While the holidays are traditionally a time for family connection and celebration, they can also amplify existing conflicts and stress. Balancing these dynamics requires careful consideration of how your decision could impact not only your well-being but also that of your children, extended family, and even your financial future. Understanding the pros and cons of filing for divorce before or after the holidays can help you navigate this challenging time with clarity and purpose.
Should I File for Divorce Now or Wait Until after the Holiday to File for Divorce?
Timing Matters: The Pros and Cons of Filing for Divorce Before the Holidays
Are you and your partner on the brink of divorce? Do you feel that filing for divorce before the holidays might be the only way you can move forward? If you can manage the situation now, you may want to wait if friends and family are coming for the holidays.
There’s no telling what emotional conversations or arguments could transpire. You’ll need to look at the pros and cons of your unique situation and decide if this is the right time for you to file for divorce.
It might be worth discussing with your partner the timing of announcing your decision to family and friends. Divorce can be emotional, especially if there are children involved. However, if delaying the decision only prolongs conflict in your relationship, it might be worth moving forward to mitigate the emotional damage, even if it disrupts this year’s holidays.
Financial Impact: Divorce Costs and Considerations Before and After the Holidays
Divorce often isn’t as simple as signing paperwork and moving on with your life. It takes time to determine the assets and debts and their fair division, especially if your assets and finances have been intertwined for many years. Determining and dividing up the marital estate and distributing the assets often takes months and sometimes even years, depending on the size of your marital estate.
With the extra costs that often come with the holidays for gifts, time off work, and sometimes travel, having funds for an attorney before the holidays may not be realistic. From a practical standpoint, some people wait until after the holidays and when money is not quite so tight to file.
On the other hand, if your spouse is a big spender and you are not, you may have a strong incentive to file before the holidays. It is common to use the time of filing and separation as the valuation date to value some or all of the assets and debts. If you see your spouse spending a lot of money on holidays with gifts, clothing, and parties that you don’t agree with, it may make sense to file and end things before these purchases are made. You will likely have a better argument that they were not marital and that you aren’t responsible for a share of these costs if they occurred after you separated and filed the divorce. Otherwise the Court may find these as marital and find that you are responsible for a share of these debts.
There may also be tax considerations when determining when to file, or more specifically, to finalize your divorce action. If you are wanting to file your taxes jointly for the year, you must still be married through the end of the year. You may still file married, filing jointly if your divorce has been filed but not finalized. However, there are some couples that choose to delay finalizing their divorce action until after the new year if there is a tax advantage overall to file married, filing jointly for one more year.
Keep in mind that the Court often divides 50/50 the assets and debts of the parties. If you are the higher earner or otherwise generating more income, then sooner you file the divorce action the sooner you can argue is the valuation date for a fair division of assets. On the other hand, if you are the lower earning spouse, you may have an incentive to wait to create the potential for more assets to be added to the marital estate and thus available for you to be awarded a share. Especially if your ex is entitled to a large bump in pay or bonus around the holidays, there may be some incentive to delay.
That being said, there is also an emotional side to the divorce. If you feel you could benefit from a fresh start to your financial situation in the new year, there may be some value in not delaying and moving forward despite the holidays.
Children and Holiday Divorce: Approaching the Issue with Family in Mind
The holidays are usually a time for family bonding. Delivering the news of an impending divorce isn’t something that most children want to hear, especially during the holidays. Children can experience heightened emotions during the divorce process. They may already feel out of their routine while being out of school for winter break. They may already feel some pressure to have a “happy holiday” and might take the news of the divorce harder around the holidays.
A holiday divorce announcement can add stress during a time that should be joyful and filled with holiday festivities for the family. On the flip side, couples with severe conflict in their relationship can cause trauma to their kids by staying together.
In many cases, if you can be civil, or civil enough, with your spouse over the holidays, it makes sense to wait to file when you have children together. Waiting until the holidays are over and the children are back to school and their routine can make the changes that come with divorcing parents less dramatic.
On the other hand, if the tension is so high that the conflict and stress will ruin the holidays, there may be some sense of relief in filing and not waiting. Sometimes if there is ongoing tension, it’s better to sit the children down together and be honest with them rather than let the situation spiral out of control.
Further, in any situation with domestic violence, it often makes sense to leave now and not risk further abuse.
Is Waiting To File Worth It? How Delaying Divorce Could Affect Your Future
If your relationship is already hostile and you feel like you’re holding on by a thread, delaying the inevitable can sometimes only worsen things. When the couple’s situation is already challenging, holiday stress just adds fuel to the fire. It could turn a potentially, relatively civil divorce into a full blown battle.
Delaying the decision to start divorce proceedings could lead to the family enduring further distress. If you’re confident divorce is the only way out, waiting might just delay the healing process.
Legal Timing: What to Know About Holiday Divorce Filings and Court Holiday Schedules
People tend to take some time off over the holidays, and this includes judges and staff. If you file before the holidays, you may be waiting longer than usual for a hearing date if your judge is taking some time off for the holidays.
If filing the action may cause your spouse to try to withhold the children or take other bad faith actions, it may make sense to wait until after the holidays when the court’s schedule to get you in for a hearing may be more available and predictable.
When deciding when to file your divorce, remember that the courts are likely going to operate on limited availability during the holidays. It’s common to have hearings or appointments postponed or rescheduled during the holiday season.
Every situation is unique and there is not one right answer on whether to file or wait. The best thing to do is talk to an experienced divorce or family law attorney. They can help you find the best way to file for a divorce around the holidays.
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