Going through a divorce is often a challenging time for everyone involved. For some people, if things go sour, they want to take to social media to voice their concerns. Some people express and share what’s going on in their lives on Instagram or Facebook, but is that really the smartest thing to do during a divorce proceeding? Social media is tricky to navigate in this situation. Here are our top 10 do’s and don’ts of social media use during a divorce.
10 Do’s and Don’ts of Social Media During Divorce: Protecting Your Case
1. Stopping All Posting on Social Media
The best way to avoid social media controversy is to stop posting. If you don’t post, nothing can go wrong, as simple as that. Take a break and use the time to give yourself a social media usage detox.
2. Really, Just STOP ALL POSTING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Even if you think a post couldn’t possibly be negative, the other side may find a way to use it against you. They may look at the date and time posted and argue that you couldn’t have been so upset about something that happened on that date as your posts on social media that day seemed carefree. Alternatively, they may argue that you spend your time on social media instead of spending it with the child. Another example is a person that posted a group photo where they were holding a glass of champagne at a social event.
Although the person almost never drank, the other party used the photo to claim that the person was a drinker and partier. Luckily, the judge didn’t believe it, but it created a lot of unnecessary work and gave the other party a chance when they were otherwise grasping at straws to try to obtain custody.
3. Deleting Won’t Save You
Other parties can screenshot your posts, so don’t think deleting your profile or posts you later regret will save you. In fact, depending on the specific circumstances, deleting your post or profile may sometimes qualify as “spoliation of evidence” and can be against the Court rules depending on the facts.
4. Adjust Your Privacy Settings
Ensure you have your online privacy settings maxed out. Take every precaution you can to safeguard how you use social media and the internet as a whole.
Use a VPN when logging online, and ensure no one can hack your devices. Don’t allow other people to tag you in their posts and profiles. Keep in mind that your ex may be able to guess your password or may have access to a device that never logged out or “saved” the password.
Even with the best security protocols, what goes online stays online. Don’t become a victim and regret your behavior later.
5. What Ends Up on the Internet Can End Up in Court
Anything you post on social media can be admissible in court. Your partner’s team can use your social posts against you if they have the merit to do so. Don’t post anything controversial or allow anything controversial to be posted about you.
Ensure your friends and family don’t include you in party pictures or tag you in their posts. You don’t want to be seen by the judge doing anything that could alter your divorce or custody case. This is especially important if you have children. Your behavior on social media could wind up being a factor in you losing custody of your children.
6. Don’t Trash Your Ex Online
Some people want to take to social media to trash their ex when they find out they are getting divorced. Don’t do it. It can hurt you more than it hurts them.
Alternatively, sometimes your family or friends want to blast your ex on social media when they hear about the divorce. Ask them to refrain from doing so as it can also hurt your case or the negotiations in your case. The Court tries to see the custody and divorce proceedings from a place of logic, not emotion. If there are negative posts about the other party online, it may make it harder to present the other parent’s flaws in a way that is convincing to the Court. The other party may use rude, offensive, vulgar, or threatening posts to claim that you and your friends and family are just being petty or hurtful and take away some of the legitimacy of the real concerns. Make sure your friends and family members know that they are not doing you any favors by posting about your ex or your divorce on social media in any way.
7. Evaluate Your Social Footprint
Run yourself through the search engines and discover your digital footprint. Ensure that there are no photos of you related to social media posts that the court could consider negative.
8. Watch What Your Kids Post
The court holds parents liable for their children’s actions. You don’t only have to worry about what you say on social media, but you must also be careful with what your children post online. A child’s post complaining about their parent not allowing an outing with a friend could turn into proof that the child doesn’t want to live with that parent. A child’s friend that responds with something vulgar or offensive could be used to show the child is involved with the “wrong crowd” if they remain in that parent’s custody.
Also, personal details posted by your child about where they spend time or personal information could make them vulnerable to fraud or a predator. Talk with your child about the use of social media and put reasonable limits in place dependent on the child’s age and maturity.
9. Be Especially Careful with Sharing Photos and Videos
Don’t post or share photos or info of people you’re potentially romantically involved with. Not only can it make any settlement negotiations more difficult, but it could potentially negatively impact your case, especially if asking for alimony or custody.
If you have any nude photos and videos online, remove them if you can. Don’t post or share photos or videos of any behavior that a Judge might find offensive. For example, a wife texted some topless photos to her new boyfriend while the case was pending. She forgot that her photos go to a shared photo drive that could be viewable on the child’s Ipad. The other parent found the photos on the child’s Ipad and accused the mother of create porn and her child having access to it. The other parent now also had topless photos of the mother, and the mother was concerned with what her spiteful ex might do with them. It is the unintended consequences that can really cause issues in a custody or divorce case. Be especially careful with the photos and videos you take and share.
If this happens to you, see “What to Do if You’re the Target of Revenge Porn” by the Federal Trade Commission, Consumer Advice
https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-do-if-youre-target-revenge-porn
10. Avoid Using Social Media at Work
Don’t use social media at work; you’re on someone else’s network. Only use your personal devices for browsing your accounts. It’s also not a good idea to use your work e-mail to communicate with your divorce attorney. Not only could it cause issues with your employer, but there is also the possibility that the other parent could subpoena your employer and some of your e-mails could be disclosed.
Additional Reading: Can Social Media Be Used in Custody or Divorce Cases?
Law Office of Julie Fowler, PC, LLO | Divorce Lawyers Omaha
Child Custody | Child Support | Divorce Lawyers Omaha
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